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Catch and Release | Gentle Vigilance | Got Butterflies?

March 2005

Gentle Vigilance

Once when I was struggling with learning how to meditate, a concept came to me. The concept is “gentle vigilance”. It is a concept that I have found helpful not only in meditation, but in so many different aspects of life, including public speaking.
Vigilance is, of course, the process of paying close and continuous attention to something. A security guard is vigilant to make sure no one breaks into a building. A recovering alcoholic is vigilant about working the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. We are vigilant to make sure that our car doesn’t run out of gas. All in all, vigilance can be a good thing.

However, we can become hypervigilant, meaning that we become too focused on something. This can lead to guilt and shame if we make a mistake, which often results in even more problems. Let’s say that I’m on a diet and I have a piece of chocolate cake, during a birthday celebration. If I’m hypervigilant, I may feel bad about eating something that wasn’t on my diet. As a result, maybe I decide to give up on my diet and end up eating chocolate cake and half a bag of cookies, with an ice cream chaser. Suddenly, my vigilance towards my diet has backfired!

This is where gentle vigilance comes in. Gentle vigilance recognizes that we are human beings that make mistakes. Gentle vigilance encourages progress rather than perfection. It is vigilance without the burden of guilt when our shortcomings surface, which they inevitably will do. With gentle vigilance, we say, “Oh, I made a mistake. What can I do to correct the mistake and prevent it in the future?” We then get back to whatever it is that we are being vigilant about.

In the case of the diet, I don’t beat myself up over eating a piece of cake. Rather, I recognize that I am eating something that is not the best choice for losing weight (no guilt, just awareness). I then consider that I could put in a little more exercise or eat a little less the rest of the day. I can also think about ways that I might celebrate a co-worker’s birthday that don’t involve me eating chocolate cake. From there I simply continue to stay on my diet. With gentle vigilance, I don’t feel depressed and I am continuing to make progress towards my goal of losing weight.

Gentle vigilance can be applied at Toastmasters as well. Let’s say the Tabletopics master has asked you a question and you catch yourself saying “um” during your response. If you are hypervigilant, your face twists in shame and frustration, you lose your train of thought, and you feel embarrassed. That’s no fun and it doesn’t make you a better speaker. In fact, there is a good chance no one would have noticed had you not made such a big production out of it.

If you responded with gentle vigilance, however, you would have made a mental note of the “um” and continued on with your response. You wouldn’t have lost your train of thought, and no one would have been distracted by your impression of “bitter beer” face. In the future, you can pay more attention to your speaking, but you don’t feel embarrassed about it. You simply recognize that you are one of the many people learning how not to say “um”. There is no embarrassment, but there is the potential for future progress.

I encourage you to see how many ways you can apply gentle vigilance to your life. Maybe you’ve been considering starting an exercise program, but can’t seem to figure out how to fit it in. With gentle vigilance, you will simply keep an eye out for a possible way to do it. When the time is right, it will happen. Perhaps you are having difficulties making it to every Toastmaster meeting. With gentle vigilance, you can consider ways to re-focus your schedule. Eventually, you will show up more. Even with my meditation practice, I found that when my mind wanders, I can gently bring it back and get re-centered; no guilt, just peaceful bliss.